Good Morning!
nope not a sunday. Its a Monday and i’m bloging while having chemo now. I’m typing with one hand so its gonna take a while.
i admit i haven’t really been updating my blog last week. A lot of things has happened last week. With Ma’s passing and me being not knowing how to react to this. I just felt so confused. I do admit that me and Ma don’t get along but she’s still my mom. And i love her. I never expect things to just happen so quickly. I was just shocked to hear that Ma passed away on Sunday morning. And i was only informed on Sunday night after everything was done. I did not know how to react. I just couldn’t keep it to myself and finally on Monday i told my girlfriends what is wrong and i just started breaking down. Tearing day and night.
Amelia and Desire made me realise that no matter how much i cry, Ma isn’t coming back. I admit i just felt i did not know what to do how to react and who to run to.
After i told Ili, she called. And i broke down on the phone. I just felt so guilty. Its just that i did not know what to do and it was really affecting me.
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Sunday
which was yesterday, i went out with my girlfriends. And i just felt happy to actually have seen them. It just brightened me up. I laughed, i smiled, i giggle, i crap, i talked and i was finally being myself back again. It was just fun to see them yesterday.
we took pictures, videos! Played chess, ate dinner and of course window shopping 
haha. I’ll post pictures up soon and yes videos are on facebook. If i’m not lazy then i’ll post it here as well. Everything was all fine till on the way to the station i was msn-ing with this Jamie fella. Or Thira knows him as Nick. He just randomly blew at me and i just kinda felt bad cause i thought i made him upset or something. It just had to get to me. *sigh* we’re not talking now so i guess it wont matter. Well he says he wont care so i guess i wont as well.
i just don’t get how can i upset someone by just asking them if they’re okay. Its just a question. Do not need to blow at me for asking! Ish! Damn-ness! I feel like slapping the fella and Jamie now. Fools!
you know what i wont continue posting. I’ll stop here cause my hand hurts. I’ll post more when i get back.
xoxo
Ameera
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