Ameera’s biggg blew upppp!!!! December 16, 2007

Even though when all things go wrong. And the thought that i don’t live my life like how other 17year old girls live theirs. I still find myself to be one of the most luckiest girl in the world. Why? Cause i still have the worlds most wonderful friends by my side.

even though i have a family who actually pretends that i don’t exists. I still feel happy that my friends know that i happen to be a living soul on earth. Parents always go. ‘don’t u know how i feel once i get home from work’. Or they’ll give us the ‘have some thought for me. I only have two hands… I’ve feelings too’ and bla bla. What bout how we feel? What bout how i feel? Helloooooo! I have feelings too! I happen to also be a human being. I was just thinking. Why do parents give us crap like. I don’t have time. Or i’m busy. I’ve to support our family and stuff. If just supporting ur family by being busy and not knowing ur family members or ur kids like how u should know them, then just screw it. Ur just thinking bout urselves. Ur just giving us excuses.

don’t u know that we happen to need u? Argh! There’s a saying that goes. Family tends to treat us like we’re outsiders. And outsiders tend to treat us like we’re part of their family. Well guess what. I believe in that. And i happen to be living that way.

do u think its worth it? I mean only seeing u for like 3times a week or maybe once a month or once a year? Why have kids then? Why give birth? To prove that u can also be parent? U don’t know how much u hurt us. And the fact that we always hear that i’m disappointed in u crap from ur side? What bout us? What bout me? What bout the disappointment that i went thru? I do wanna share my secrets with u sometimes. But oh no. U give me i don’t have time. Or the i’m tired crap. And the fact that u’ll screw me up for telling it to my frenz and not u? Why? So u can prove to everyone that my kid is not that kinda kid who shares their secret with their frenz? And So u can just prove urself that i’ve raised my kids well ? That’s just insane.

i’m greatful to have my bff by my side. Yea i do get mad? Why? I happen to be mad at myself just cause of something called PARENTS? its not like they care. Oh wait they don’t. And i’m being the retard who actually cares bout them! Argh! Where would i be without my friends. Answer is NO FUCKING WHERE!

Sometimes i just wonder why on earth do i have to live life this way? Its just pointless. But friends like Ili, Sam, David, Amelia, Ashikin, Low, Ashvin, Denise, Matt, Dilpreet, Alya and all my other friends just give me hopes. Even though i know that some of it may have been false hopes. They made me realise that life isn’t just bout now. I can change it. I can make it better for my future. And life is not just bout bad stuff. I’ve had all my best times with my friends. All of it. And best part is. My friends doesn’t forget my birthday. Unlike them! I live for one principal. LEARN FROM THE PAST, APPLY IT FOR THE PRESENT, AND LIVE IT FOR THE FUTURE.

But the point is. If its weren’t for them. I’m no one. I wouldn’t be the Ameera i am today. They’re the ones who keeps me going everyday. I’m stronger cause of them. I’m not lonely. I have my great and awesome friends by my side. And the feeling is wayyy better. I get to be who i want to be and not pretend to be someone else. For those of u. Appreciate what u have.

i’m really sorry for this long post. I just do not know how to talk it out. So i guess i just did. And i apologise for hurting some of u who happens to be a parent as well. Try talkin to ur kids. They’ll tell u the same thing i said but in dif way and sentence. And i’m sorry that this may have been a rude way of expressing myself out.

we need to love each other. Not live in the world of hatred.

xoxo
ameera