Themes Changed

I recently just changed my blog layout so it has somewhat affected my past entries layout as well =(

Listen Babeeeyyyyyy

I don’t really find a point to blog that much anymore. Its not that I don’t have time to blog or I’m busy. Those would just be excuses.  I just really don’t find a point to blog out my expressions on how happy I am or how down I am. There is just no need to tell the entire world out there who doesn’t even know who I am on my well being. I have my friends for that. I have friends for me to be happy with and let it out on how content I am. Getting excited on the little things. Even if it’s something no one outside of my circle would understand.

I know I’ve mentioned Ryan way too much in my past entries. But I just can’t help the fact to appreciate him for being there all along.  Even with all the stupid ridiculous misunderstandings and me being angry at him recently, I can’t help the fact but to notice that no matter what happens, he is the person I tell everything. Doesn’t matter how unnecessary they were/are, he just listens well in most cases read what I have to say.  Haha! And ya know what most times, he doesn’t even pay attention to what I say but point is when I’m there to vent or whatever he listens. And even if I have not met him just yet, he is still my best friend (first time applying Ryan as my best friend) haha! Yup he is one. = ] and OMG! Before I forget, I got the procrastinating disease from him! FROM HIM! He transported it to me! Sheeesh! And he transported the nougats fever to the max when he sends me nougats! Ahhhhh! Haha! I’m just really lucky to have him as a good friend la. And Mr! mind you, I’ll be seeing you in December whether you like it or not =]

And then there are my 2 favorite girls. Leyla and Hidayah. Words just can’t describe how I feel when I’m around them spending time. We never run out of things to talk bout. From talking bout to favorite TV shows to talking bout stuff that Leyla brings up. And mind you leyla mostly brings up stuff that leads to deep discussions. And it normally happens while we’re having meals. It just pops on her head randomly and poof the 3 of us gets going and pitches in on what we think bout of that topic.

My 2 awesome sisters. We’re neither biological related nor blood related but we grew up together and I’ve knows them my entire life. Rieenaa Ka and Sashi Girl. I love them to death and I wish we all could spend more time together doing random stuff. =]

My recent additions are my two lovely babies. Afi Donkay Ritter and Geetha Rajasegran. Words can’t express the feeling I have when I’m with them. All the random things done together and all the laughs we had and will be having makes it worth it. Worth it to wake up every Monday- Wednesday mornings just to get my day to day uni routine done. Even if we don’t have classes on Thursdays and Fridays but that doesn’t seem to really matter. Cause the time spent with them from Mondays- Wednesdays triumphs it all. All those mocking Datin Bimbo moments are just so hilarious! Haha! *inside joke*

Oh! Not forgetting Craig the meanyyy haha! He’s just so adorable la! And mean at times. No no mean most times! Mean to me at least! Lalalalaa! But still he gets me to study when I’m procrastinating and what not and makes me feel bad when I don’t study. =]

Yeah yeah I know I’m just weee bit too emo at the very moment. I’m just saying I love y’ll la k? And I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

NOTHING AT ALL!

<3

***
Ams

Ryan Alexander Atkins a.k.a The Lazy Ass Koala Grandpa Fella

This post is dedicated to my GOODEST friend Ryan!

He turns 19 in exactly 2 hours Australian time and 3 and half hours Malaysian time! like time difference is big thing! haha! Basically he turns 19 on 10/09/09! Like whoah!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN ALEXANDER ATKINS!

and yes he’s also known as the

LAZY ASS KOALA
GRANDPA FELLA TO ME!

Why? its very simple. He’s a lazy ass, he came up with the koala thingy and he will always be a grandpa cause cause cause he likes to stay home. Naaa kidding babe! Its all in good fun.

So last year I posted up a post as well for his 19th birthday. With him being all the way at the other corner of the world ( in Adelaide only la! Not exactly another corner =P) I decided to do this like at a very last minute. And i had Fatin to help me out. Which was awesome and thanks a lot babe for helping me out with this.

haha yeah I so know its lame but what the hell la right. At least I did it =P so yeah I dont really care what you people think bout it =]

I don’t think I need to have a longer post. The video just sums it all up! Woooooo!

Have a good birthday koala!

Happy Birthday =]

ps: seeee youuu like soonnn! ahahahahaa!

xoxo
Ams

Quickie!

A good weekend it has been. Nothing special went on except I had to attend my nephews birthday party. besides that, it has been very relaxing. This weekend I took the chance to connect with my inner self. =) Not something most of us would do.

On the other note,

I miss my sisters!

My two sisters. Spend like a week with one of them and can’t wait to be able to spend Christmas in Aussy with them this year. I miss the nights out sipping onto Starbucks and just chatting away or just watching a movie together and camwhoring! Woooooooo! I miss you two like gila okay! Trip to Aussy end of this year! Yup yup yup!

My younger sister Vivian is leaving for UK on the 4th of September. And hell yeah I’ll def miss her like crazy. All these late night talks and the ups and downs shared. Hope everything goes well for her in UK. =) I know she’ll do great.

And yes trip to Aussy end of this year kicks off from KL definitely. Our first destination would be Sydney and next on be Melbourne and after couple days we’ll head over to Adelaide. And you guessed it right, this is when I’ll meet my gooooodddddddeeeeeeeessssddddddd friend! haha! My good friend of all good friends Ryan Alexander Atkins and yeah maybe go knock on Scott’s door and be all hellooo! hahahaha! RANDOMMMM!We should be back in KL by the 4th of January =)

Its 2.30am =( I’m craving for Maccas =(

Nite!

***
Ams

What Took Me So Long?!

Howdy everyone!

Hope all is good. Things are definitely going on really well for me and I’m sorry for taking such a long time in updating my blog. This is when I lost my touch in updating it. Haha!

Jokes aside. Degree starts o Tuesday and this semester I have 4 new subjects. Definitely looking forward to it. And my 3 weeks holiday didn’t just go by this time. I had the chance to get outta town and meet up with my other family whome I dearly miss right now. =/

Being with them for a week made me realise that no matter what happens they’d still be part of me as family. Daddy called me “GENDUT”. haha! Gendut means fat.And even so, I just couldn’t care less, cause while I was with them I get really good food from Mummy. Nothing could top  good home cooked meals!

At the moment, catching up with Markie and think he should update he’s blog too. haha! And talking to Luis after a year is good too. Never felt better catching up with old mates. Keep the old mates while meeting new ones. Treasure them as everyone is just unique its own way.

I definitely feel postive and thanks to my awesome Mitch for icking int he positive energy for me. Waking up the next day just makes me happy. Life is not that bad after all. Doesn’t mean falling couple times, its not gonna get better. It sure does. =)

Loads of happenings lately. The MTV World Stage for instance. It was definitely awesome with 7 acts performing that night.And nothing could ever top that.  I’m not gonna blog bout it though. You can probably get your dose of MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia on the net itself =)

On the other note, I have a really talented friend name Jason. Check him out in the video below.

Check out his youtube page by clicking here.

Hope all is good with everyone. Have a good weekend =)

***
AMS

PS: I don’t hate you =)

Life As It Is.

Life. The word life scares most of us. Whether we like it or not, we face it. The Ups and Downs. The midlife crisis, the quarter life crisis and whatsoever. We face it. We could choose to just walk away from it is but yet some us stay and just face it.  It gets to some us. And most often when we decide to just put up with life, we just don’t know what the hell are we doing.

It sucks. Not knowing what’s in store for us. What’s ahead and what’s coming. Sue me for not being all happy this week. Sue me for putting up a fake smile this week but you know what I just couldn’t care less about anymore? Its what some of you think of me.

I have issues. We all have issues with ourselves. And if you tell me you don’t, then its just mostly load of bull. And you know it too. Why do we always think that expressing out emotions, or letting out whats wrong or whats bothering us makes us weak? Why do we judge each other? And what I don’t get is why some us try to take lead of someone elses’ life when our own lifes’ are not leadable?

So what if I have feelings for my good friend? So what if someone else likes me? So what if you hate me? So what if you despise me? So what? What is it that is always not right? What does it take to always be right? What it is that makes you self-centered?

I maybe all messed up right now. Not just maybe, I am. So yes I am messed up at this current stage. But be sure I wont let all of this, all this bullshit get me down. I wont allow such thing to happen. SO what if I happen to have some emotional imbalanced at this moment?

SO WHAT?

I don’t care what’s going on. Neither should you! So shut up. SHUT UP! And turn around and walk away. Don’t look back and don’t you dare judge me. Judging me is just as the same as pointing a weakness out of yourself. And what would that be? GO FIGURE!

I’m done!

Sugar Rush And Procrastinating

At the end of the day, there are some things you just can’t help but talk about. Some things we just don’t want to hear, and some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they’re what you do. Some things you say because there’s no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves. – Meredith Grey.

I know that at the end of the day I would end up having at least one person to talk about anything at all. He may not want to know most the stuff I say. May not pay attention to the stuff i say or tell him. But at the end of it he’s there to listen. Just listen to all my rantings, whining, me being a baby, a spoilt brat, a dumb dumb or an idiot.  I admit i do keep things to myself. Back then when i had no one to really talk to and whine to aboiut the crappiest and silliest things ever.

I have to keep in mind that Ryan Atkins is not a girl =P KIDDING Ry. Of course I remember all the time that he is a guy. Well a GUY! who happens to be my GOODEST GUY FRIEND! I find the word best friend to be overated and Ryan knows that. Even Leyla knows that too.

Talking about Leyla, we went out on Friday to celbrate her birthday. Me and my two favorite girls got together to celebrate Leyla’s birthday. Went and watch Transformers 2 and then off to One Utama to have lunch and well just catch up. Talking about the randomest things, silly things made me realise how much I miss having them with me carying out ,y daily college routine. BUT! the good thing is Leyla will be back at HELP in August with me doing the same course. Hidayah? She’s off to Monash! Hope everything goes well for her!

I MISS YOU TWO ALREADY!

I thank you

Ryan Alexander Atkins

Leyla Kamilia Kamil

and

Nur Hidayah Abdul Rashid

for rocking my world =]

You know how sometimes you wish you can just go back in time and just things? The silly things you’ve done? Then I realise, the things you’ve done in the past is what makes you, YOU! Instead of longing oto the past, why don’t look forward to the future? Instead of being negative towards a certain something or someone, be positive for a change!

Believe in yourself and trust yourself that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things turn out to be, you’ll survive. Your world wont come crashing just because of something that you plan goes wrong. Take the challenge of making it better and learn from what has gone wrong.

I know I can be such a lazy ass person. I slept 19 hours on Saturday. Hence, my Saturday was just wasted. I procrastinate like hell. But who doesn’t? I know I’m a last minute person and I hell work well under the pressure of being last minute in order to get things done. But as long as I get it done its alright. Besides I’m not the only procrastinator in this whole wide world.

I may not be in love with anyone at this very moment. I may not love anyone more than a friend at this moment. But that does not mean I don’t love anyone else. =P Just the word LOVE is just over rated! Love need not to just be between a guy and a girl having this special thing going on with them. But love between friends is what I think most of us tends to forget. I may not say it as much. I may not say it to all my friends that I love them but that does not mean I dont love them. I do!

Ahh! okay enough crapping. I just had couple of nougats so on sugar rush at this moment. Thanks Ryan! =P Kidding!

Finaly Computing is done! Can get into bed and rest then fall asleep and head off to la la land xD Me and Hanee can get off right now and do whatever

Sleep. Its the easiest thing to do; you just close your eyes. but for so many of us, sleep seems out of grasp. we want it, but we don’t know how to get it. yet once we face our fears and turn to each other for help, night time isnt so scary because we realize even in the dark, we aren’t all alone. - Meredith Grey.

Nites!

Do The Hellen Keller And Talk With Your Hips!

This one part of 3OH3!’s Don’t Trust Me has been stuck on my mind for the pass few days. the phrase is just so plain silly but then again almost everyone is humming to this very silly song!

oh Hello! yes it has been a while since I really update it with proper updates. Been really busy lately with college and coping up with life itself. College is college. As usual people come and go. Some comes back to visit, some comes back to bum around and even some comes back to hang out with the juniors! Which I really think its just sad! But don’t bother what I think of anything alright =]

My midterms starts next week and I am as usual not ready for it at all. I’ve been procrastinating as usual. I mean who doesn’t? =P

“Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.”

Sometimes, the silly little things can hurt you. Yeah I admit, some little things makes you realise how beautiful the world is but not all of those lil things are all good things. Some things makes you realise what a fool you have been. Or what a retard or psycho person you or I have been.

Its bullshit if you were to say you have not been hurt in life or let alone hurt anyone in life. Trust me, you have hurt someone in life even without you noticing it.

I make plans for my life. I made plans like where am I gonna be the next ten years or plans like what kind of degree and stuff. I have big plans. But plans remains plans unless you work your way through life and put in effort to make those plans work. Who fucking cares if I’ve failed in life before?

ARE YOU THE ONE LEADING MY LIFE OR ME?

And who fucking cares if I’ve failed some of my subjects? Are you the one paying for it? FUCKING HELL NO! I just don’t get how some people just can’t move on and go around bitching about the same bloody thing. And what’s funny is that I’m moving from whatever drama has been going on but some are not. People wake up. We are so not in high school anymore to be picking, bitching and hurting someone anymore. I believe at the age of 18 and 19, we are old enough to think of what is good and what is bad.

I’ve made mistakes in life. I’ve hurt people. And I’m sorry for it. A friend once told me:

Its not about how you make it up to them and show them how you are sorry. But its how you realize that you’ve hurt them and want to make things better.” – Jacob

Whatever done its done. Time to move on and just open a new chapter to the story of life. Like I have said before, I’m not perfect and I am still finding myself through this journey of life. I am certainly not lost. I clearly have no intentions to include some of the past happenings, past people or past experiences into my new chapter.

I want to make the most out of my life. I don’t want to turn back and regret later on. As of today, please if you have anything against me, just fucking come up to me. And no I aint giving everyone what they want. You want what you want, come up to me. I’m not gonna fucking care of what people think of me anymore and not gonna fucking care about what people bitch about me anymore.

I have such great people around who cares for me and accepts me for the way I am. And at the same time being there for me when I need them without fail, correcting me and helping me in the many ways they can. I thank you all for it. I love them to bits!

I may be sick in the head but I darn right know I am not the only one =]

Ps: This post wasn’t intended for anyone at all. So don’t get me wrong and think it was directed to someone.

Leyla Kamilia Kamil

My unpaid therapist a.k.a best friend from college turns 19 today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEYLA!

I”ve had such good times along the past semesters getting to know you and being close to you as well as getting you to be my unpaid therapist. You’re there for me without fail and I appreciate that!

I enjoy our outings, lunches and just the time we spent together. And of course I do enjoy all those deep talks that we’ll get ourselves into when you ask me and Hidayah a simple question.

On your 19th birthday I wish you all the very best, blessed birthday and most importantly get well soon! You being sick on your birthday is not acceptable at all!

You will always be my unpaid therapist! =P

All the best with your future undertakings!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY LEYLA!

lots of love

Ams

I’ve Been

a fool…