At the end of the day, there are some things you just can’t help but talk about. Some things we just don’t want to hear, and some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they’re what you do. Some things you say because there’s no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves. – Meredith Grey.

I know that at the end of the day I would end up having at least one person to talk about anything at all. He may not want to know most the stuff I say. May not pay attention to the stuff i say or tell him. But at the end of it he’s there to listen. Just listen to all my rantings, whining, me being a baby, a spoilt brat, a dumb dumb or an idiot.  I admit i do keep things to myself. Back then when i had no one to really talk to and whine to aboiut the crappiest and silliest things ever.

I have to keep in mind that Ryan Atkins is not a girl =P KIDDING Ry. Of course I remember all the time that he is a guy. Well a GUY! who happens to be my GOODEST GUY FRIEND! I find the word best friend to be overated and Ryan knows that. Even Leyla knows that too.

Talking about Leyla, we went out on Friday to celbrate her birthday. Me and my two favorite girls got together to celebrate Leyla’s birthday. Went and watch Transformers 2 and then off to One Utama to have lunch and well just catch up. Talking about the randomest things, silly things made me realise how much I miss having them with me carying out ,y daily college routine. BUT! the good thing is Leyla will be back at HELP in August with me doing the same course. Hidayah? She’s off to Monash! Hope everything goes well for her!

I MISS YOU TWO ALREADY!

I thank you

Ryan Alexander Atkins

Leyla Kamilia Kamil

and

Nur Hidayah Abdul Rashid

for rocking my world =]

You know how sometimes you wish you can just go back in time and just things? The silly things you’ve done? Then I realise, the things you’ve done in the past is what makes you, YOU! Instead of longing oto the past, why don’t look forward to the future? Instead of being negative towards a certain something or someone, be positive for a change!

Believe in yourself and trust yourself that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things turn out to be, you’ll survive. Your world wont come crashing just because of something that you plan goes wrong. Take the challenge of making it better and learn from what has gone wrong.

I know I can be such a lazy ass person. I slept 19 hours on Saturday. Hence, my Saturday was just wasted. I procrastinate like hell. But who doesn’t? I know I’m a last minute person and I hell work well under the pressure of being last minute in order to get things done. But as long as I get it done its alright. Besides I’m not the only procrastinator in this whole wide world.

I may not be in love with anyone at this very moment. I may not love anyone more than a friend at this moment. But that does not mean I don’t love anyone else. =P Just the word LOVE is just over rated! Love need not to just be between a guy and a girl having this special thing going on with them. But love between friends is what I think most of us tends to forget. I may not say it as much. I may not say it to all my friends that I love them but that does not mean I dont love them. I do!

Ahh! okay enough crapping. I just had couple of nougats so on sugar rush at this moment. Thanks Ryan! =P Kidding!

Finaly Computing is done! Can get into bed and rest then fall asleep and head off to la la land xD Me and Hanee can get off right now and do whatever

Sleep. Its the easiest thing to do; you just close your eyes. but for so many of us, sleep seems out of grasp. we want it, but we don’t know how to get it. yet once we face our fears and turn to each other for help, night time isnt so scary because we realize even in the dark, we aren’t all alone. - Meredith Grey.

Nites!

This one part of 3OH3!’s Don’t Trust Me has been stuck on my mind for the pass few days. the phrase is just so plain silly but then again almost everyone is humming to this very silly song!

oh Hello! yes it has been a while since I really update it with proper updates. Been really busy lately with college and coping up with life itself. College is college. As usual people come and go. Some comes back to visit, some comes back to bum around and even some comes back to hang out with the juniors! Which I really think its just sad! But don’t bother what I think of anything alright =]

My midterms starts next week and I am as usual not ready for it at all. I’ve been procrastinating as usual. I mean who doesn’t? =P

“Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.”

Sometimes, the silly little things can hurt you. Yeah I admit, some little things makes you realise how beautiful the world is but not all of those lil things are all good things. Some things makes you realise what a fool you have been. Or what a retard or psycho person you or I have been.

Its bullshit if you were to say you have not been hurt in life or let alone hurt anyone in life. Trust me, you have hurt someone in life even without you noticing it.

I make plans for my life. I made plans like where am I gonna be the next ten years or plans like what kind of degree and stuff. I have big plans. But plans remains plans unless you work your way through life and put in effort to make those plans work. Who fucking cares if I’ve failed in life before?

ARE YOU THE ONE LEADING MY LIFE OR ME?

And who fucking cares if I’ve failed some of my subjects? Are you the one paying for it? FUCKING HELL NO! I just don’t get how some people just can’t move on and go around bitching about the same bloody thing. And what’s funny is that I’m moving from whatever drama has been going on but some are not. People wake up. We are so not in high school anymore to be picking, bitching and hurting someone anymore. I believe at the age of 18 and 19, we are old enough to think of what is good and what is bad.

I’ve made mistakes in life. I’ve hurt people. And I’m sorry for it. A friend once told me:

Its not about how you make it up to them and show them how you are sorry. But its how you realize that you’ve hurt them and want to make things better.” – Jacob

Whatever done its done. Time to move on and just open a new chapter to the story of life. Like I have said before, I’m not perfect and I am still finding myself through this journey of life. I am certainly not lost. I clearly have no intentions to include some of the past happenings, past people or past experiences into my new chapter.

I want to make the most out of my life. I don’t want to turn back and regret later on. As of today, please if you have anything against me, just fucking come up to me. And no I aint giving everyone what they want. You want what you want, come up to me. I’m not gonna fucking care of what people think of me anymore and not gonna fucking care about what people bitch about me anymore.

I have such great people around who cares for me and accepts me for the way I am. And at the same time being there for me when I need them without fail, correcting me and helping me in the many ways they can. I thank you all for it. I love them to bits!

I may be sick in the head but I darn right know I am not the only one =]

Ps: This post wasn’t intended for anyone at all. So don’t get me wrong and think it was directed to someone.

My unpaid therapist a.k.a best friend from college turns 19 today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEYLA!

I”ve had such good times along the past semesters getting to know you and being close to you as well as getting you to be my unpaid therapist. You’re there for me without fail and I appreciate that!

I enjoy our outings, lunches and just the time we spent together. And of course I do enjoy all those deep talks that we’ll get ourselves into when you ask me and Hidayah a simple question.

On your 19th birthday I wish you all the very best, blessed birthday and most importantly get well soon! You being sick on your birthday is not acceptable at all!

You will always be my unpaid therapist! =P

All the best with your future undertakings!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY LEYLA!

lots of love

Ams

a fool…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVIAN TEOH!

My sister turns 17 today and hell yeah i’m hell proud of her!

Viv, Happy 17th Birthday!. Even i don’t say it as much but i love you as my little sister and nothing and  no one can change that. even though i drive you up the wall, you’re still there to put up with me and my prolems. i dont know what would i do not having you as my little sister.

Even though we don’t see each other much, but i’m really thankful to have the chance of getting to know you and being really close!

Have a wonderful birthday!

And i will so miss you when you leave for UK!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

***

Ams

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to
be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day – those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. ~ Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy

I remember just a year ago I posted this quote up and last night I took some time to read up my past entries on my blog. I realized how much I have grown and broken out of my shell. Not just that I realized I was pretty childish back then. Of course the fact that I have grown apart with some of the people I used to mention in my past entries makes me realized that people come and go.

I agree people come and go. Some come, stay for a bit and just leave. While some come, we push them and tell them to leave they just don’t. I guess it’s down to a particular individual of who they really are in accepting the people around them and care for them with no further arguments or questions.

Those who just leave are not the ones worth keeping or bothering about. But those who stick by you no matter what happen, just worth every single thing! I can’t help to think of Ryan as a best example. I remember telling him to just leave in fact those post are still there and yet he is still there for me when I need him, there for me when I need someone to talk to and I guess we’ve grown to know each other better and yes I do admit till this very day I tell him everything that is going on in my life. The silliest, stupidest things I tell him all. And he is still there for me.

The invasion of personal space is sometimes what we need. And I can’t help myself but to think those who invaded my personal space and made me feel comfortable with it. There are seven people in my life who has invaded that personal space and I couldn’t feel any better. I come across the invasion of personal space is not just about being there for someone through their sad times but also there to share everything. To share what’s going on in life. What’s exciting? What’s fun and of course they are there through all times. Anytime, anywhere, whenever and wherever.

I am blessed to have this very seven people in life that I can’t help not to think about all the time. Can’t help to not care about when they care. Can’t help to not think how funny some of us grow with each other observing how we changed along time and how we evolve.

And what makes things seems weird enough is that how some of us are just so different from one another and yet we can still come together on a common ground and just talk about the most randomest things as the world can perceive and have a laugh about what seems funny and crazy at that moment for us.

I guess it’s not just about how long we’ve known one another but also how much have we learnt from one another along the time we have known each other. It’s not the length of time that counts but how you spend time by getting to know each other is what counts. Being there for one another what counts. And just putting up with each other is what counts.

Talking about this very seven people who manage to just invade my personal space will take me forever. But I am truly glad that I’ve got to know them and feel really blessed and honored to know them. My journey of life with them will continue.

Just if you’re wondering who the seven people are :

Vivian Teoh @ ze sister

Ryan Atkins @ lazy ass koala oldie grandpa Ryan

Matthew Mitchell @ the awesome crazy makes sense friend

Seth Vandenberg @ the one who makes sense all the time

Mark Henson @ the crazy outta mind friend

Nur Hidayah @ my partner in crime

Leyla Kamilia @ the UNPAID

therapist

TO BE CONTINUED!

***

Ams

This right here is my awesome friend all the way from UK!

His name is Mitch!

Wanna know why he is so awesome and his awesomeness makes him my awesome friend?

1. He’s always there for me no matter what happens and what time is it.
2. he’s always there to pick up my calls even if its 2am
3. always there to help me and cheer me up when I’m down
4. Knows the way to make me laugh even when I’m really pissed off.
5. He’s always there to help and of course listen to all my rants.
6. he can put up with the annoying me
7. And the final reason is because he is just plainly awesome the way he is!

Woo!

My awesome friend right here turns a big TWO OH on Monday and I am here to wish him a very ginourmous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

He will always be Grandpa Mitch to me who will always lecture me on SHOES and how I should not be so addicted to them.

He will forever be me Mitch to me and not Matty, Matt or Matthew even though his name is Matthew Mitchell!

Here’s to you Mitch!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW MITCHELL!

And have loads of fun on your birthday!

Images of the Grandpa Mitch!

Dudeee!

You’re like leaving the teen life and stepping into the adulthood stage! Haha! Be well, stay happy and thank you for putting up with me all this while. Sucks you have to work on your birthday but don’t let that stop you from enjoying your big TWENTIETH birthday =] thank you for all the advice and the time you’ve been there for me. And seriously thank you for being such an awesome friend to me. I appreciate it very much!

Have a good one!

Once again

HAPPY 20^TH BIRTHDAY!

*big birthday hugs*

***
AMS

If you have been reading my blog for this pass year you would have come across some post on the subject:

“PEOPLE”

You see whether we like it or not, people are the reasons we’re still doing what we do, perceive what we perceive and still give a damn of what they think.

But being people we never run from being judgmental and so judgetive towards a certain group of people or let alone an individual.

Some people can be an expert in rejection because they have been and still are being rejected by our society. Why? For the fact that they are different? You ask them a question when you know you won’t give a shit towards what their answers are. So why bother asking?

“I’m an expert in rejection and I can see it in your faces. And it’s too bad that people judge us by the way we look and not by who we are. Just because the people around us want us to be like them, when the truth is some of us will not be like them. And it takes courage to be proud of who we are when we’re a little different. And I am damn proud of that fact that I am not just like them.”

What tradition do we have these days?

The tradition of what?

Of hazing kids?

Humiliating anyone who’s a little bit different?

And the fact that the society is putting so much pressure on kids these days they turn into these stress freaks and caffeine addicts.

Why can’t both exist?

The one who fits in and they one who just don’t just because they’re a little different? Why do we have to conform to what the society wants? And you wanna know what’s worst?

The fact that the society itself is a criminal is what make things worst. The society tends to rob these kids or the people of their creativity and their passion. That’s the real crime to me.

THE BIGGEST EVER CRIME TO

ME!

Did the society ever teach you to follow your heart and achieve your dreams and doing what you wanna do? All we care about is the system. The system where no one really knows who comes up with?

Like hellooo!

Reality check!

Wake up!

What is the system gotta do with living life again?

I know one person who would love to debate with me on this topic but guess what I don’t give a shit ass on what you have to say.

LIFE IS FULL OF POSSIBILITIES!

And isn’t that we really want for ourselves? The possibility of having a better life or a better person. And what is it these days? A better person is being judge by the job that you have? What has ones’ job got to do with being a better person leading a better life?

WE HAVE GOTTA STOP BEING

JUDGEMENTAL!

It takes one loud voice to just go out there and tell the entire world that he/she doesn’t give a shit about what society thinks of them.

I have come to the consequences and guess what I don’t give a damn rat ass to what the society has to say.

Some of us don’t need approvals to tell us what we did was real. Cause they are so few truths in this world, that when you see one you know it. And I know that it is a truth that real learning is not just in classrooms. But real learning of life happens everyday.

What we learn in classrooms these days does not prepare us in facing our daily lives. But it prepares us for jobs. Jobs that we don’t even know that we might even ace at it.

We just need people with desires to better themselves. And that is what some of us have that some of you don’t have. So I guess that’s why some of us are a little different and can’t fit in with the society. Cause we have the desires and passion to live life and not just to get a good job with high pay by the end of the month.

at some point nothing else matters cause we’ll never stop learning and never stop growing, and we’ll never forget the idea that were instilled in us by our passion towards something.

Nothing you can say or do can take that away from us!

So go!

Go be judgmental!

Go be so subjective!

Go be so negative and can’t accept someone who’s a little different then who you are.

GO!

We just don’t freaking care anymore!

One piece of college education paper does not tell others that you’re a better person. It just tells people you went to college and graduated in a certain field with a certain honors and you use it to get a job. And that’s it. It ends there.

This whole entire thing about being different will never end. And the fact that some of us still tries to talk bout it makes it one awesome kick ass topic to discuss.

Have a good night everyone.

Toodles

***

Ams

Hello hello!

I’m back!

I know you don’t miss me crapping on my boring blog but guess what

I DON’T CARE!

Haha!

So 3^rd semester is done and over with. I am very sure I’m gonna miss most you people from HMC. Sob sob =[

Its only the fourth day of my semester break and I’m already rotting at home. No doubt my nephew keeps me company but it gets boring later on during the day. I’m just so used to doing things during the day in college that I get so bored these days. *yawns*

BORIIINGGG!

I randomly texted Hidayah and Leyla on Thursday asking them if they’d wanna catch a movie on Friday. And what do ya know? we went watching a movie in Cineleisure Damansara. We watched

He’s Not That Into You is not like the normal average romantic comedy. I loved it, the two awesomest girls loved it, Jess Min loved it and surprisingly Arthur loves it too! haha! So yes, for those who still have doubts on whether to watch it or not watch it? I’d say

GO WATCH IT!

Its that awesome yo! And after a date, a guy doesn’t call you then

HE’s JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

Justin Long is just so adorable in this movie =) and oh girls please take note! If a guy really likes you, they’d chase after you! If they don’t chase after you then just forget it okay? =P

Me and Leyla were talking on msn on Thursday night, and we decided to try the G-Force X thingy and Bungee Jumping at KL Tower after hers’ and Hidayah’s Islamic Studies Final. Were gonna go do all these adventure stuff together. And trust me its not that expensive okay! That G-Force X thingy is RM 50! Yes 50 BUCKS! And bungee Jumping is RM 30! Darn cheap right?

And suprisngly I have some awesome responds from other friend regarding this adventure thingy! And loads of em wanna join in the fun!

I’m doing it! So should you!

Who else is in?

=P

~Toodles~

***

Ams

CAMERON BAGLEE

who is a friend of mine from the land down under turns 20 today!

haha!

you are old dudeeee!

okay fine!

even though you are no longer a teen you will always be that silly little small boy to me. =]

why?

cause

• you don’t make sense sometimes
• you don’t even know what you’re talking bout when you’re drunk
• and of course you’ll always be a lil boy cause i say SO!

haha!

anyways

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

you will always be my late night buddy to talk to!

and rant at

and just be silly

and i will always be an annoying person!

woooo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMMY!

***

AMS